What happens when you hear the word “Change?” Are you saying things like this to yourself?

“Change!!!! Ah!!!! Run!!!!”

“I cannot do this!”

“I will not be able to deal with this!”

“What’s the point?!”

“I’m destined to fail at this.”

Or are you saying things like this to yourself?

“Change!!!! Yes!!!! Bring it on!!!!”

“I can do this!”

“I will be able to deal with the circumstances thrown my way!”

“I will succeed!”

Man making a change can be really tough for a lot of us. Change is a six-letter word that can be so scary, intimidating, and frustrating for a lot of us. We can be creatures of habit and when we get ourselves into a routine or pattern it is hard to break it, especially if it is a negative behavior (AKA a maladaptive coping skill) like drinking, drugs, over-eating, etc. On the other hand, change can also be very exciting and rewarding. But what happens? We can be our own worst enemies at times because we can get in our own way with negative self-talk and self-doubt. As a result, it’s like we almost paralyze ourselves and we do not do anything to change our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. So those changes we have thought about making and those goals we set for ourselves never come to fruition. It doesn’t happen because we get stuck, make excuses, and talk ourselves out of it.

And the cycle continues…

Change starts in our mind. We have a thought, “Man I don’t really like the way that I look right now.” Or, “I really wish I could change this about myself or my body.” Or, “I need to lose 5lb, 10lb, 60lb,” or whatever you think the number needs to be to get to your ideal or goal weight. We look at ourselves in the mirror and we don’t like how we look in a certain outfit, or say to ourselves, “I hate the way that I look, I have really let myself go since I got married, got divorced, had the kids, started this new job, got this promotion, since mom got sick,” or whatever it may be that we feel like has INTERFERED DAMN IT!!! Life is hard, it can be so hectic and disrupt us, so we find it hard to make the time to take care of ourselves in the way we want to. We can get caught up or distracted and use these things to make excuses to ourselves.

So, the next time you want to make a change or have thought about a new goal for yourself, think about what you are saying to yourself in your mind, are the thoughts negative? Are they positive? Is what you are saying to yourself going to help you achieve the goal or make the change you want? Are you doubting you can do it, or are you telling yourself you can? Are you making a bunch of excuses to yourself about not having enough time, or are you thinking of ways that you can make time? Are you telling yourself that your health and your happiness can wait because there is someone or something that is more important, or are you telling yourself that it’s time to make yourself a priority again? We have to pay attention to our self-talk and what our thoughts are saying to ourselves in our mind.

What are you thinking and saying to yourself? And what do you want to be thinking and saying to yourself?

Xoxo, Nina